It's Bright, It's Dark, and It's Beautiful- Final Dark Side Blog

 The Concept That Sticks With Me- Part 1

The concept of functional ambivalence, or communication as simultaneously positive and negative dependent on the context and perspective from which the evaluation is assessed, will be what sticks with me throughout my personal and scholarly life. In fact, this perspective is one that I often articulate to others but don't always enact or embrace in my own day to day life and research. I think what stands out for me is the way this class has created space for me as a researcher and a person to locate myself in what I perceive to be a gap in need of bridging. The gap seems to be, in many ways, explained in the acceptance of a simplification of socially constructed and negotiated meanings to psychological attributes. In other words, the communicative negotiation of meaning is where all the "stuff" happens. It's what's exciting about human nature and existence. One cannot come to know anything without communicating with others. The Other is essential to understanding, yet the Other is continuously and systematically subordinated through communication--interpersonally, and over time, as communication becomes patterned, relationally--and ultimately, as these patterns are reified, institutionally. It's this fundamental reality that drives me as a scholar of communication. And the simplification of understanding from communicative--or between people, to psychological--or within a person, simply put, discounts the Other.

The Dark Side of Communication highlights the implications of positionality in the communicative negotiation of meaning. It requires an awareness of the interaction of two people who are positioned differently and who bring to the negotiation different experiences, values/priorities, and differing levels of power in the creation of meaning. It forces us to examine both the dominant and subordinate perspectives as understood in the social context of the interaction. In labeling something "bright" or "dark", we reveal this positionality, and to be response-able researchers and citizens, we must interrogate the bright and dark side of meaning-making.

Bias in the research community is both suspect and anticipated. We are human, and therefore we are biased. We do what we can to both limit and recognize that bias, and these attempts look different depending on the paradigm in which we orient ourselves. But one bias that we are all united in the way we experience it is the privileging of psychological understandings of concepts and the subordination of communicative construction of meaning-both academically and in lay understandings. Psychological understandings of constructs--locating and studying constructs as inherent to the individual--fits well within our individualistic culture. In our field, we recognize that meaning is socially constructed--and while undeniably true, it runs counter to the individualistic nature of the society in which we are situated. This bias makes the translation of our research more difficult in many ways. Moves like the one made by Daily, Lee and Spitzberg chapter for this week are vital to ensuring a more nuanced understanding of meaning, Self and Other. When we take a construct that is accepted as inherent to the individual and empirically challenge that conceptualization by highlighting the socially constructed nature of meaning, we not only offer a richer, more contextually based understanding of phenomena, we create space for the "Other" as a partner in the construction of reality. These moves are vital for our discipline.

Studying the Dark Side of Communication stoked my passion for the study of communication. It is ONLY through the study of communication, and the recognition of the multi-perspectival creation of meaning, that we can address the complexities of the world in which we live in today. Functional ambivalence is the epitome of why our discipline is important--it is the beauty of our discipline. It is where voices are recognized and (hopefully) empowered. The Dark Side of Communication will not be one area that informs my research--it will permeate everything I do as a researcher--it is the reason I've chosen Communication as the best way to understand and research the world we live.

Citizen-Practitioner- Part 2

I chose to go about this second part of the prompt by identifying an interpersonal communication pattern in my own life and discuss how I plan to address it. This class has made me really look hard at the way I communicate with my children--how I help guide them through their own trials/tribulations and successes/triumphs. I've already indicated that I see my primary role as a parent (other than loving nurturer) to be that of a teacher. I see my role as primarily one of preparing my children to be who they were meant to be and to navigate the world once I am no longer there to help see them through. That means, I need to help them understand. Understand themselves. Understand others. Understand how they can actively contribute to a better world. Simply put, there are more than two sides to every story. Life is not black and white, evil and good are not always easy to identify---yet the so called "shades of grey" are incredibly difficult to talk about let alone teach to a young child. However, as parents, we live in a world in which we are challenged to provide for material needs, build and support self-esteem, promote social skills. We live in a world that puts a great deal of pressure on us to position our children so that they  can have opportunities to "reach their full potential"-- select sports teams, expensive academic summer camps, extravagant vacations...all in the name of making sure our children can have 'enriching experiences'.

This class helped me to better understand and gave me a better vocabulary with which to talk about the fact that none of this matters when you consider that children need to be taught the importance of the Other. There is no focus on the Other in parenting culture. It is all focused on the Self.  We are told in our OBGYN's offices, our pediatrician's offices, television shows, and in the books that tell us how to be good parents about the importance of building up our children's self-worth for their "psychological well-being". And, I agree with this--they need to feel special, loved and like Mom and Dad are their number one supporters. But, how can we expect, as communication scholars, to make a difference if we continue to parent our kids to privilege the Self and virtually ignore the Other? Further, even if we change the way we parent--communication is collaborative (Stewart, 2006)--and as I am finding and it shouldn't surprise me--so is parenting. We can't talk the talk (Love your neighbor as yourself) and then make decision after decision that privileges the child at the expense of the community. But this is what we do. And when you 'buck the system' (because you study communication and you know the importance of challenging dominant understandings of parenting) your children are cast as somehow "missing out"-they don't have the same opportunities as their peers. Because communication is collaborative, one person, or one family, bucking the system may call attention to the issues--but it doesn't change until others join in. What I see this class doing for me as a parent is helping my children (and with any luck, the families with whom I interact) not only see, but appreciate and value, the importance of the Other. Period. And, it really does need to be recognized and embraced community wide--Without that, the dark side of communication is nothing but talk. It can't be applied because without this simple acknowledgement, positionality can't be seen, let alone considered. So, this class has invigorated and solidified what I like to think was already a balanced approach to  both "Self" and "Other" centered parenting. And I don't always get it right--but it's a struggle I see as well worth having.

Reaction to Blogging- Part 3

I am a blogger at heart. I blog regularly--and this process has always been my preferred method of thinking through what I am learning and who I am becoming. As a kid and young adult, I always kept a journal. Now I keep a blog--though haven't posted much lately--this one takes most of my time right now :-)  (feel free to check it out--- MOM-My Own Mind). This blog has been a vital part of my learning and growth process. Writing challenges me to think through what I am thinking. It puts me in dialogue with myself, and for me, that's the most effective way I know to engage in anything. When we read, we engage the text by inserting ourselves into it--our interaction with what we are reading results in learning. The blog, for me, takes that process to the next level. It makes me accountable to myself for that interaction. And it pushes me to go deeper into my thought process and consider how the responses that the text prompted in me connect to other responses I've had. This was an important, useful and enjoyable exercise in learning this semester, and, I am likely to continue this--either on the personal blog I referenced earlier or in this blog setting. One of the biggest benefits of blogging is the ability to go back and review what I was thinking when I read a particular piece. It's a permanent record of my thoughts that I can interact with later on, after I've read additional material, that will hopefully generate new ideas. If you can't tell---I'm a big fan. :-)